Monday, November 15, 2010

Pan African Economics Back in the Black

Political squabbling still continues over the liberation of Epsilon Eradani after UN Task force 624 restored security to the system’s shipping lanes nearly a month ago. The United nations opting not to garrison the sector have contracted the private firm Black on Black-Water, a PAN-African security company that specializes in discount private sector protection and sports the slogan: “Mutha’ fuc’er yo’ shitz safe with us.”

Implication of corruption surrounding Black on Black Water has surfaced concerning the political ties CEO Joseph Bouti to his Half Brother Prime Minister Holland Boudi head of the Peoples’ African National Islamic Coalition. P.A.N.I.C. currently holds a two thirds majority in the African National Congress and key positions it the Military High Command. For two years Pan African delegates have appealed for a post on the United Nations Security Council but have been denied due to allegations of human rights abuses, the disregarding of tariff and embargo restrictions and ignoring the dress code in the UN General Assembly.

The Pan African representative, Chairman Tooka Dumph has insured that the privately contracted security forces of his nation play no active role in the interference of free market trade or transport. He also added that favoritism in African goods and service is the trend of this open market and should be accepted as a sign of growing prosperity for his nation.

Chairman Tooka Dumph In Address to the UN General Assembly:

“Yo Nigga’s give it up! Brutha Dumph in da House. Lizzen up, we gotz the shiznti you want, you nigga’s got the paper we need to stack. Put down the dead presidents n’will drop the shit off at your mu’fuc’n crib. You want Grain? We grow it. Bling? We mine it. Gatz? Cap every nappy fucker you see. We up out’a here, PEACE!”

Ebonic to English Translation:” ladies and gentleman, diplomats and councilors, I present Chairman Tooka Dumph to the Assembly floor. Your attention please, the Pan African States offer a wide array of goods to the galaxy for a fair price. This Economic exchange will be mutually beneficial for both your colonies and our hard working people and delivery will be in a timely manner. Our Wheat and barley yields are high and ready for delivery. Our mineral deposits are pure and abundant. Our machinists produce the finest hardware in the galaxy and no one can dispute its quality. I close my address with questions from the press before I take my leave, Salutations.”

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