Friday, October 14, 2011

"Taters for Tots" Campaign

United Nations Special envoy to "Taters For Tots"
Spud Light-year

The United Nations unveiled its latest campaign this week to end Galactic malnutrition by providing genetically enriched tubers to under developed colonies. The newly developed Couch Potato grows to tremendous size in little to no sunlight, requires very little nutrient enrichment and can be all but forgotten by its caretakers. "The things will practically wilt in the open sunlight but most of the colonies we're helping are on half lit worlds on the edge of space. We were originally trying to develop a bio-genetic battery to power pacemakers starting with the DNA sequence that gives the common baking potato its 1.2volts of natural chemical electricity. Our research assistant absentmindedly left the protoplasmic suspension chamber exposed to a monitor broadcasting a marathon of Zero-G Dancing with the Stars over spring break. When we got back to the lab. we had to dig our way in."

(Above: MIT scientist test pallet-ability of genetically engineered Couch Potato)