Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Mexican Space Program Denied

Accusations were flatly denied by the Mexican Government today of any possession or future plans to buy or build a standing space program for the military or civil application." The recent attacks on military and civilian installations being financed by our impoverished nation is completely Loco..." commented El Presedente Phillip Ricardo Del Juan Jesus Chavez Monte Carlos. After the former Latin American nation filed chapter eleven in a San Antonio court room in 2012, the country's net worth was assessed and revalued at 20billion Pesoes or the equivalent of 1,600 us dollars and 32 cents. After the intial public auction failure listed on Cristie's/EBay and creditors refusal to sell just the Island of Cozumel to a displaced Inuit village, the country was placed under the reorganization council of the Non Profit Les Getz's

" The initial problem with the Mexican central government is they have no GNP. Lets face it, the chief export of Mexico is their own population and you can't very well tax a citizenry in another country write? Write. You can however devalue your currency to the point that people will pay you to not have to maintain an exchange rate. Just last year we launched a currency exchange software that converts all foreign currency that passes through our borders to the atomic weight of the peso or the intrinsic value of a bag of sand which ever is currently higher on the commodities market. Countries will practicably give their currency to us rather than mobilize that many semi trucks for an exchange." CFO Getz stated.

United Nations TaskForce L237 moving to Epsilon Eridani

U.N. security forces are moving to the Epsilon Eridani system after rogue elements of the Lichtenstein Solar Flotilla lead an assault capturing the Freeport orbital facility. The Lichtenoog* Diplomatic envoy to the U.N. general assembly stunned by the claim of an aggressive naval posture released the following statement from his Manhattan Fondue Restaurant. "I stand dismayed and shocked that any one of our fine naval patriots would dare take any non provoked action against targets hostile or not without thoroughly employing the use of prolonged and bewildering diplomatic channels. I believe these actions to be a fabrication and a full military tribunal shall be assembled as soon as we can locate the three ships in our fleet. I will also inquire to the location and alibi of the Swiss Task force 2 as they are most often confused with our fleet..." Ambassador Fommer
* Lichtenoog :(DEF) Official formal adjective of Lichtenstein. Adopted in 2034 replacing the antiquated term Liechtensteiner as it consumed to many characters to effectively be used for state issued Twitter announcements.