Security Council Declaires War to Prevent Agression.

17 months ago the United Nations Security council unanimously passed measures that classify the Initiation of armed aggression against another sovereign nation a war crime that justifiably forces the Security Council to intervene on behalf of the non-aggressor. Since the announcement to the general assembly 702 representatives of the 782 attending diplomats, have filed 60,123 interdiction claims ranging from Orbital Genocide to world cup results. 7824 addendum have been added to the Non-aggression Edict since its announcement including 72 pages on the definition of terrorism, 4 paragraphs on paternity suites and 6,004 examples on the improper use of the word “Effect” and “Affect” in quoting post 20^th century political Leaders. “ and moreover the affect that the security council’s policies have had on diplomacy has an everlasting effect to the unsettling discord affecting the already blurry lines of hired security forces, illegal privateering and colonization. Atrocities committed by cooperate entities, individual’s, and Private contractors fall outside the UN’s jurisdiction affectively” Quoted the Speaker of the council of Misinterpretation Resolution. When pressed for a judicial body to investigate claims of Non-War crimes against humanity the Security Council has claimed to have approached several NGO’s with in depth experience in Atrocity. The World Bank, the Catholic Church and Wal-Mart topped the list.

9000 yr old Archeological site ties Swabian and Anglican Aggression to Ancestral Memory

Talheim Death Pit, Talheim, Germany.
Swiss scientists using a nanoscopic relief technique have reconstructed DNA fragments from remnant hair and deep marrow deposits found in fossils recovered from this 9 millennia old burial sight. These techniques first pioneered to stop aging processes in the Hollywood elite, inject a substitute nucleic acid in the decomposing chain of nucleotides replicating the original chemical structure. The same technique that has preserved Dick Clark for over 2 centuries, has been used to refill missing strands in the genetic blue print linking the remains at the burial site to ancient native Germanic tribes and warring factions of a migratory group that later settled in the La Marche Caves in modern France.

The genome of the ancient Germanic adversaries is found in 40 percent of modern day Anglicans through their pre-1066 Norman Heritage. The Death Pits 400 yards from the Neckar River is the location of the oldest know prehistoric Battle Site to exist; showing that Ancient Germans hold the second longest grudge in Human history, narrowly behind the Ancient Israelites vendetta on a former Palestinians pig farmer.

World Cup Cricket Match Interupted by News of Royal Navy conflict, Public outraged.

Public out cry over a News report interrupting the World Cup Cricket match in the New Anglican Confederation has the British Broad Casting service apologizing to Billions of hostile viewers. Thomas Huchens of the Emergency Broad Cast Ministry has issued a 30 second long apology to sporting fans he plans to air immediately after Cup Final closing. "When ever that might be." Stated Huchens. The longest cricket match on record is 237 hours long, spanning nearly 17months of play. The News cast a brief bulletin about a minor scuffle between the Anglican Navy and the New Swavian leugue may prolong a week long disagreement occasionally interrupted by weapons fire, explosions and death. William Berksham of Sheffield an avid fan was quoted as saying" Ya think that the shooting could hold off a bit after Swansorn said after the victory that their fightback with the ball was the turning point. "We stayed patient when West Indies came out hard," he said. "If he's [Swansorn] hitting our bowlers off their lengths there's not much we can do. We stuck to our task and tried to bowl dots. They were looking to score 300 plus but we bowled well."

English to English translation: " Our brave soldiers sacrifice so much for us to live free."

1800hrs Earth Standard time

An emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council has been called to review all evidence that United Nations Peace keeping contingent 268 opened fire on neutral military vessels in the Iota Persei system hosting a armisist meeting between parties of the New Swabian Leugue and the New Anglican Confederation. Secretary General Yoni Suezuzi has issued the following statement until all evidence can be reviewed by a board of inquiry. " Please my fellow nations, I ask of you nothing more than prudent restraint. I know that tempers are at incendiary levels among traditional rival antagonist but before we waste human lives in viral barbaric conflict let us consider what we do not know. First, there is an element yet not revealed that caused an explosion in a poorly maintained orbital facility in an out of the way star system. Second an Expeditionary force fitted for escort duty, hardly a match for any single fleet opened fire on a host nation among no less than 4 Security council members. Third, strange should it be that a well televised peace accord has produced no reputable footage of the first 22minutes of weapons fire between military vessels including the wreckage of a GNN news ship that was boarded, plundered of all data records and crew spaced. Persevere our vengeful urges for peace and justice. Endeavour revenge and suffer fruitless wrath."

American Republic Inquires about refund.

The American Republic officially returned the Statue of Liberty to the Europian Union today claiming "Hey it just didn't work out...."

The 151ft , 450,000 lbs statue that once marked the entrance to New York Harbor was given to the emerging nation of America as a bond between France and her sister democracy. Dedicated 1886, the statue stood as a glorious oxidizing beacon to third world nations like an iconic billboard of the American dream. One Hundred years later the dull green exterior was replaced and a 24k gold coating was plated on the torch the colossus held aloft. This was later removed to boost the reinstated gold standard after the 2011 wall street collapse and replaced by a fiber optic network of shinny lights that a consciences of New York residents claimed to be "just as f' en good.." In 2130 after rising sea levels had all but made entrance to the statue impossible, the army corp of engineers moved the upper torso of the statue to its current beach front location in Elkins, West Virginia. Teresa McCoremack ,Secretary of The U.S. Park Service said "It was well and good that we return the statue to its former owners. I think things might have been different if the inscription read "Give me your Inspired, your Motivated,Your huddled masses yearning to invest in a free market economy,The recycled refuse of your teeming shore.Send these, the homeowners, investment-glossed to me.I lift my lamp beside the golden opportunity." Who knew who might have been attracted then?"

Eurasia Outraged!

Surrounded by the Posthumous images of Iconic Communist Figures Prime minister Nicholi Swenichez damanded the formal resignation of the United Nations Sectary General Yoni Suezuzi Former Nippon Foreign minister to the New Anglican Confederation.

Quote Swenichez: "There are things a foot here that wreak of western manipulation. Of the peaceful proceedings held on our own fertile soils despoiled by the vile conflicts of lesser nations. We the laborers have toiled too long and spilled our blood to bring about a nation of equilateral prosperity. The United Nations is a decrepit institution plagued by bureaucracy and red tape. Its time is nigh when our own sons and daughters are brain washed to fire on our own people with impunity. Our capabilities in these areas are centuries more efficient and we know manipulation when we see it."

The Prime Ministers speech also outlined a 7 year program to reform health care, improve bread distribution through a new set of forms requesting food ration stamps, and the lowering of the conscription to 15 years of age. The United Nations has been placing pressure on the ESU for years to consider human rights reforms, humanitarian aid to outer colonies, and open trade to core worlds. All have been met with little to no compromise.

Stranger Bed Fellows

In the Federated States of Europa protesters gathered in Liberte Plaza this evening to demand the release of Admiral Jean Le Pal Qua Commanding Naval officer of the 74 Flotilla assigned to the ill fated peace talks between the Anglican and Swabian Governments. Although no official statement release of the Euro government has been made, it is believed that the admiral will face court marshall after issuing orders to attack New Anglican vessels in neutral territory and escorting German Vessels from the area under French protection. An anonymous source has leaked that there has never been notable precedent to support such an absurd action in 300 years of Naval conflict. Le Pal Qua has been held in the De Gaul military Medical hospital awaiting psychiatric evaluation before trial.